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quill-and-inktopus

Gender fluidity doesn’t exist

sincerely, someone who thought she was gender fluid and has since realized that not only is she not gender fluid, but that no one else is either

just-antithings

Just Exclusionist Things: I referred to this as a hot take when in reality it’s as cold as a take as that republican congressman who claimed that his snowball meant that climate change doesn’t exist

zombieutopia

This post (especially the comments in the notes) just straight up pisses me off. A bunch of people who misidentified themselves early on due to peer pressure, poor information, or were still in the process of discovering who they really were at the time, stating that just because THAT SPECIFIC LABEL didn’t fit them, it just straight up doesn’t exist for anyone else and are insinuating that the use of that label is nearly akin to abuse.


Wtf?!


1. Just because YOU don’t identify as something, doesn’t mean its not 100% accurate for someone else.

2. Its PERFECTLY OKAY to ID as one thing, grow and change and later discover that the original label you used isn’t appropriate for you anymore. Thats totally okay. People grow and change. Labels are just words we use to communicate something about ourselves to other people. The definitions of labels are ever evolving. So changing them out when they no longer serve you is TOTALLY OKAY. Healthy, even.

3. Y’all got some shitty ass friends who are forcing you into identifying as labels that don’t fit you and telling you you have to adhere to certain “requirements”. You need new friends and a better community.

I’m sorry that there are people out there who had a hard time with this and were even potentially harmed by identifying as gender fluid early on. But just because that is YOUR experience, does NOT give you the right to just straight up erase someone elses identity.

And since this is a thing with this post….


Sincerely signed, an AFAB nonbinary/gender fluid person who has never felt comfortable in their own skin, spent a long time exploring the idea of being a transman and realized that was just as uncomfortable and dysphoria-inducing as being feminine, and is only ever comfortable when I allow myself to be whatever I feel like that specific day. Some days that means cleavage and make up and jewelry and nail polish, and other days that means hiding the boobs and wearing boxers and not shaving. Some days it means a mixture of both. The day I discovered the terms “gender fluid” and “nonbinary” was the first day I felt comfortable just being me.


So you can stick your “gender fluid doesn’t exist” sentiments where the sun don’t shine.

quill-and-inktopus

Changing your appearance doesn’t make you gender fluid. In my experience, fluctuating dysphoria, general confusion about what gender is (ie not the way you look), and internalized misogyny are most often what makes people believe they are gender fluid.

I’ve noticed that the vast majority of people who identify as gender fluid (and nonbinary in general) are afab. Wouldn’t it be logical, if those identities were biological and innate, for there to be a more even spread between the sexes? I think it’s partly due to cis girls wanting to get away from the treatment and expectations they recieve as girls. Girls are constantly bombarded with media that shows them the “right” way to look. When you don’t look, or don’t want to look a certain way, it alienates you. It feels shitty, and it makes you feel wrong. Like you’re being a girl wrong.

And then you find out about being nonbinary. It’s for people who don’t feel like boys or girls. You don’t feel like a boy. But, given how girls are expected to act, you don’t feel very much like a girl either. So then you’re nonbinary. And maybe you don’t like your chest. Or your thighs are too big. And that’s dysphoria, right?

Or maybe you’re gender fluid. I was. And when I discovered what it was, I felt like it was the perfect way to describe me. Oscillating from being ultra masculine back to almost feminine because I could never quite force myself away from the pull it had on me. But feminine girls were stupid or mean. Or both. All those TV shows and movies where the villains were pretty girls in pink dresses who cared about their appearance. I wasn’t stupid or mean. I couldn’t be like those girls. And on top of that, I started to have certain feelings toward girls. Feelings that I interpreted as masculine because there was no way I could be a lesbian, right?

There were a multitude of factors that played into me thinking I was gender fluid. Many of them, other people shared. Some of them don’t apply to me because I am cis. A trans man I know used to feel like he was nonbinary because he felt like he looked too feminine to pass. Maybe it’s fluctuating dysphoria, something else I can’t describe because I have never felt it.

Maybe you really are gender fluid. But, given the track record of people who have thought they were gender fluid, I have to doubt it.

But I have felt the alienation and internalized misogyny most cis girls feel when they begin to identify as any form of nonbinary. And I have experienced growing past that and seeing how confused and sad I was when I couldn’t figure out why I felt the way I did. The world is hard for girls. And I think a lot of us try to hide behind a different gender. Anything to get away from the crushing weight of expectations placed upon us.

that-secret-truscum

> maybe it’s fluctuating dysphoria

It is! I used to ID as genderfluid for that exact reason; some days I could bear my body, while other days, it made me feel like shit. It was also because MOGAI had made just being ftm sound like it was boring and I was a dumbass 14-year-old.

blurrymango

I used to believe genderfluid was a thing, and I even headcannoned Frisk from Undertale as genderfluid, because i liked drawing them in both traditionally feminine clothing and traditionally masculine clothing.

Which is, you know, fucking idiotic. Fashion sense doesn’t determine gender, brain structure does.

Source: quill-and-inktopus
firewritten

disillusionment: like chemo for reality

poetdreamerfool

i.

in my main era;
my heart remains
a sudden movement
when all is still–
that cop holds life in his hands
like a uterus;
my birthright is a fortnight
felt in a second;
a heavy second helping
after a light first plate.
the first day on the job
feels like a dyke’s first date–

ii.

I keep a keen eye
for the theme why;
the sun’s yellow petals
bloomed over a once dark boulevard
treat the block like Julliard;
the code is broken
and our minds are mended,
our minds blended
while our hearts stayed lonely
and stole glances at despair–

iii.

there the cop stood with the alleged perp
like Frankenstein with his monster
made from
Trayvon’s eyes,
Freddy’s spine,
Eric’s thoat
your heart
and your mind;
if you’re going crazy keep going;
up shit’s creek
rowing;
Earth,
know your worth–birth;
dancing spears of light
haninging over a hedonists;
mark of the beast,
instinct extinct– remiss bliss from the bullshit;
the grey things moved through the irregular field of colors
stormy realism– close your shutters
these stanzas ain’t in Kansas
no more
opportunity knocks
but you gotta walk through the door.
walk through the door– leave.

Source: poetdreamerfool
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